Every month, featured experts answer your questions about coping with cancer including specific answers to questions asked by caregivers.
For Any Cancer Diagnosis
- What is the recommended treatment and possible side effects?
- How could treatment affect other co-existing health issues?
- Is the goal longer survival, which may mean a more intensive treatment, or is it quality of life?
- Take notes at her appointments or ask if you can record
- During the appointment, ask her if she has questions
- Repeat and review the information after the appointment, allowing her time to process information
- Keep a calendar to record her appointments
- Use a notebook to keep track of symptoms and side effects
- Create a file for all paperwork related to her diagnosis, including copies of important records
- Compile a current list of all her medications and phone numbers/addresses of all of her health care providers.
- any medications being taken and their possible interaction with cancer treatments
- the person’s mobility, balance, and memory
- any nutritional needs or restrictions
- social supports, including who will be there to help with daily concerns like grocery shopping, cooking, and providing transportation to medical appointments.
- Caregiving for Your Loved One with Cancer
- Understanding and Managing Chemotherapy Side Effects
- Controlling Cancer Pain: What You Need to Know to Get Relief
- Your Health Care Team: Your Doctor is Only The Beginning
Q. My mother is 85 and was told she has stage 3 cancer. She doesn't seem to understand exactly what is going on and is passive. We're not that pleased with her doctors. I don't want to be pushy, but how can we help her?
Challenges that may affect older adults and their ability to make health care decisions include how they process information, how they cope with the stress of the diagnosis, and how their medical team communicates with them. With this in mind, family support can play an important part in your mother’s care. I’d start by asking your mother if she would like your help, and if so, what areas she would like help with. This might include meeting with her medical team to discuss her treatment plan or helping her prepare for her appointments.
Questions to ask about her treatment include:
Ways to involve and organize your mother include:
Your mother’s medical team is one of the most important aspects of her care, and as a health consumer she has every right to receive quality care. It is essential that older adults and their loved ones be able to openly and honestly discuss their care and any potential difficulties with their doctors may arise. For more guidance please read, “Doctor, Can We Talk? Tips for Communicating With Your Health Care Team”. If she is not comfortable with quality of care she is receiving, she may need to explore other options. Though this may seem daunting, your mother’s primary care doctor or even a local hospital can provide her with referrals.
Q. My dad is elderly and is scheduled to start treatment for cancer. We are concerned about his ability to tolerate treatment side effects given his age.
The single greatest risk factor for cancer is aging. Our population is living longer and cancer is a disease that occurs in older adults. There is no clear data, however, showing that certain cancer treatments, when appropriate, should not be offered on the basis of age. The only exception is when there are pre-existing health problems.
Chronic health problems unrelated to cancer — such as hypertension, diabetes, heart disease or arthritis — do need to be considered with regard to cancer treatment and its side effects. For an older adult, it is important that the choice of treatment plan takes into account his or her overall health status, including:
It is appropriate for you and your dad to expect to control treatment side effects. Before your father starts treatment, make sure his doctor knows about any medications he is currently taking for other health problems, and ask about what treatment side effects he should expect. In many cancer centers, there are health care specialists that will work with your doctor to help manage treatment side effects. Talk with your dad’s doctor about symptoms you and he are worried about. Don’t be afraid, embarrassed, or hesitate to ask questions, voice your opinion, and seek the care your dad needs and deserves.
For more information, read these CancerCare publications:
Our professional oncology social workers can also help people with cancer and their loved ones with the practical and emotional concerns arising from a cancer diagnosis. Contact us 1-800-813-HOPE (4673).
For Breast Cancer
Q. My mother was recently diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer and about 2 years ago, began to show signs of dementia. Can you refer me to resources regarding providing care to patients with dementia and cancer? My elderly father is the primary caregiver and I am an out of town caregiver.
Dealing with a dual diagnosis of dementia and cancer brings many challenges regarding care. Start by assessing both you and your father’s needs as caregivers and the needs of your mother. What do you and your family need help with? Areas to consider are personal care, household care, health care, and emotional care. It is also important to discuss with your mother what her preferences for care are as much as she is able. If she is not able to discuss this, you and your father will want to consider what she would feel comfortable with.
The next step is to find support. State and federal agencies are good starting points for information about local programs and services. You can find your local office through the Department of Health and Human Service’s Eldercare Locator. The Family Caregiver Alliance, also has a wealth of information on caregiver support, as well as a state by state listing of services available. It is important to remember throughout your mother’s care that support is important not only for patients, but also for caregivers. You and your father’s needs must be met, so you don’t become overwhelmed and exhausted. To learn about ways to take care of yourself, please read, Caregiving for Your Loved One With Cancer, and So Far Away: Twenty Questions and Answers About Long-Distance Caregiving.
For Lung Cancer
Q. My 68-year-old husband was diagnosed with lung cancer in 2004, had radiation and chemo, and is currently in remission. Since ending his treatment, his personality has changed drastically and he directs his anger towards me. Can chemo affect a person mentally?
Chemotherapy can affect a person’s mood, as can other medications such as steroids. It is important that you and your husband inform his doctor of changes in his mood to rule out any medical causes. The change in his personality may also be a sign that he is still struggling emotionally with his diagnosis and treatment. Cancer can be overwhelming and bring up many feelings from anxiety to anger to sadness. As your husband’s primary caregiver, those feelings may be directed towards you since you are the one he is closest to and trusts. If you haven’t done so already, letting your husband know how his feelings and behavior affect you is important. Seeking couple’s counseling is also a good idea if you are having difficulties communicating with each other.
The end of treatment often can lead to many strong and conflicting feelings. When a person is first diagnosed with cancer, he/she is often focused on learning about the diagnosis and getting through treatment. This can delay the emotional impact of cancer and feelings may come up once treatment ends, as there is more time to think about what has happened. For more information on coping post-treatment read, After Treatment Ends: Tools for the Adult Cancer Survivor.
Q. My 90-year-old grandmother was just diagnosed with lymphoma, but was told that because it is at an advanced stage, no treatment will be done. What should we expect?
Lymphoma is the term used to describe cancer of white blood cells, called lymphocytes, which are a crucial component of the immune system. As with any cancer, there are important factors in determining a patient’s prognosis. These include the type of cancer, the stage of the cancer, the age of the patient and the patient’s general health. It is also important to consider whether the cancer is a new diagnosis or whether it has recurred.
While it is not possible to tell you exactly what to expect, it is important to begin to plan for her care. Talk with her doctor and find out more details. For guidance, please read our publications, Communicating With Your Health Care Team and Doctor, Can We Talk?.
It will be helpful to develop a plan that includes all available family, social, and medical supports to care for your grandmother in body, mind, and spirit. You may also want to discuss with your grandmother what her wishes are regarding her care. It is important to have information about your grandmother’s health insurance or other coverage she may have and what medical and supportive care services they can provide during this time. Hospice should be considered and can provide support and services if your grandmother’s needs increase.
The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society provides specific information about lymphoma and offers support services provided through their local chapters.