Challenges that may affect older adults and their ability to make health care decisions include how they process information, how they cope with the stress of the diagnosis, and how their medical team communicates with them. With this in mind, family support can play an important part in your mother’s care. I’d start by asking your mother if she would like your help, and if so, what areas she would like help with. This might include meeting with her medical team to discuss her treatment plan or helping her prepare for her appointments.

Questions to ask about her treatment include:

• What is the recommended treatment and possible side effects?
• How could treatment affect other co-existing health issues?
• Is the goal longer survival, which may mean a more intensive treatment, or is it quality of life?

Ways to involve and organize your mother include:

• Take notes at her appointments or ask if you can record
• During the appointment, ask her if she has questions
• Repeat and review the information after the appointment, allowing her time to process information
• Keep a calendar to record her appointments
• Use a notebook to keep track of symptoms and side effects
• Create a file for all paperwork related to her diagnosis, including copies of important records
• Compile a current list of all her medications and phone numbers/addresses of all of her health care providers.

Your mother’s medical team is one of the most important aspects of her care, and as a health consumer she has every right to receive quality care. It is essential that older adults and their loved ones be able to openly and honestly discuss their care and any potential difficulties with their doctors may arise. For more guidance please read, “Doctor, Can We Talk? Tips for Communicating With Your Health Care Team”. If she is not comfortable with quality of care she is receiving, she may need to explore other options. Though this may seem daunting, your mother’s primary care doctor or even a local hospital can provide her with referrals.

Unfortunately, pain is very common with a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. The good news is that often the pain lessens as the chemotherapy and/or radiation works to shrink the tumor. Speak with your oncologist or radiologist about how to best manage your pain. There are now a variety of pain medications that can lessen your pain without harsh side effects.

Prepare for the discussion with your doctor by keeping track of your pain by writing down:

• When and where you experience pain
• What is the intensity of your pain (use a scale of 1 to 10, or verbal scale of mild, moderate, severe)
• Does anything make your pain worse?
• Does anything relieve your pain?
• How is pain affecting your everyday life?

Because pain can be difficult to describe, it might be helpful to have friends or family share their assessments as well. It’s always a good idea to bring someone with you to any appointment; another set of ears can help reduce confusion. I recommend that you bring a list of questions to the appointment and have someone write down the doctor’s responses. People sometimes even bring a recording device – just make sure to ask the doctor for permission.

For more information read our publications, Controlling Cancer Pain: What You Need to Know to Get Relief, Communicating With Your Health Care Team, and “Opening the Door to Effective Pain Management”.

Visit the American Pain Foundation for information and resources to locate a pain specialist. They also offer an online community, PainAid. And finally, the American Pain Society offers useful information.