Q. I am a lesbian and my family is not accepting of this. I recently have been diagnosed with breast cancer, and I'm really feeling the loss of having family for support. I'm not sure if it would make a difference to speak with them - should I tell my family about my diagnosis?

A.

You took a very courageous step by disclosing your sexual identity to your family, and their rejection can feel devastating especially during times of need. It is the most natural desire to want to be accepted by the people we love, and while some homophobic reactions may be intense, there are many shades of gray. In extreme cases, disclosure sometimes results in permanently severed relationships, but the coming out experience and the reactions of loved ones can be a process that evolves over time. It is understandable that you are concerned about communicating with your family given the risk of further rejection, but you may find that family members who have difficulty accepting your lesbian identity would want to be part of your life and be able to support you given the chance.

It is important that you seek out support from family, friends, co-workers, and healthcare professionals. CancerCare’s professional oncology social workers are here to help by linking you to practical support, education, support groups, or referrals. In addition to getting support around your cancer diagnosis, you can also receive counseling about your relationships with your family that can guide you toward the best course of action for you.

Learn more about our breast cancer services. You might also contact The National LGBT Cancer Network and The Mautner Project. Cultivating a network of support and sharing your experiences with others can be a liberating and self-affirming experience and I encourage you to explore these resources.