Q. I live in Queens, New York and my brother who has stage 4 colon cancer lives in Canada. I am one of his caregivers and he will be with me in New York for two weeks soon. Is there any way I can get counseling for him? He is depressed and has not coped well with his diagnosis.

A.

It is very difficult to be a long distance caregiver. I can sense that you really want to be there for your brother but are finding it hard to know exactly how. Loss of control is something that goes hand in hand with a cancer diagnosis. Sometimes it even feels that the cancer is making the decisions. It is certainly making things more difficult. CancerCare has a staff of professional oncology social workers who can provide counseling and support to both you and your brother. Please call us at 800-813-4673 to schedule an appointment. CancerCare also offers online and telephone support groups specifically for patients and caregivers.

Caregiving is a heavy burden and it is easy to put your loved one first. But thinking about your needs as well will make you a better and more able caregiver. CancerCare offers publications on our website that will help you understand the demands of caregiving and how to be prepared and ready: “Caring Advice for Caregivers: How Can You Help Yourself?” and Caregiving for Your Loved One With Cancer. Another resource is our free Connect Education Workshop™: Stress Management for Caregivers: Taking Care of Yourself Physically and Emotionally.

Family Caregiver Alliance is an organization that focuses solely on the needs of caregivers. They offer many resources on their website including the section, Caregiving Info & Advice, various publications and fact sheets, and educational webinars such as Caregiving 101: Exploring the Complexities of Family Caregiving.

The Caregiver Resource Directory includes chapters about symptom management at home and the goals of care in progressive illness.

Another helpful resource is the American Society of Clinical Oncology’s publication, Advanced Cancer Care Planning: What Patients and Families Need to Know About Their Choices When Facing a Serious Illness, which may be downloaded from their website or ordered free of charge.

And finally, the Colorectal Cancer Association of Canada website has many resources that could be helpful for your brother.